


Intrepid Heart

by BeTrueBeYou96



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 01:04:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20498333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeTrueBeYou96/pseuds/BeTrueBeYou96
Summary: Levi is severely injured in combat, but he doesn’t know where he is or what is going on. He’s back on the battlefield, frantically searching for Eren among the remains of those already defeated. Is Eren apart of those that are deceased, or is he still fighting somewhere else? All he wants to do is feel Eren’s heart beating again.It was the fall that nearly killed him, but he wouldn’t know about that for a few days.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: THIS FAN-FICTION CONTAINS GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE/GORE. CONTINUE WITH EXTREME CAUTION.

Levi had known death all his life. 

He had known the taste of it on his skin. Had known its putrid and rich aroma as it layered itself over his tattered clothes. He had rinsed death off his shaking hands, breathing through the tears that threatened to take a hold of him. He had gotten used to washing himself over and over again- always failing to remove the stench that coated his entire body. He would rub his skin raw sometimes, but he knew that that would never be enough. That death would always attach itself to him. 

Death had surrounded him down in the Underground that he had once called home, and he also experienced it outside the three Walls that protected the rest of humanity. He had witnessed his fair share of deception, mistreatment, and neglect all his life. He knew what it was like for a human being to be treated as an inconvenience to the world above. He had always had to fight for his life- and for the lives of others. He had seen what violence did to people. How it could make someone pull a serrated blade on a “friend” over a slice of moldy bread or a place to rest your head at night. He had held such a blade on someone before too. The adrenaline had pulsed through his veins as he threatened to kill someone over cough medicine. He had never hesitated back then- it didn’t matter if he got hurt as long as he could provide some relief for his ailing mother. 

All the same, he felt the harsh sharp edge of the blade as it cut across layers of skin. He knew first-hand that the suffering he felt could never be compared to that of _ her _ as she gasped for air. Her delicate voice grossly became raspy and pressed itself into the back of her throat, forcing her speech to become weak. He knew her voice like he knew the way his muscles clenched and released as he forced himself to draw his blades in battle. He knew death. He knew that death didn’t concern itself with who its intended victim was; _ it _ only knew that its job was not completed without one last thread of regret. 

He had seen death countless times. He could still recall the putrid stench of his mother’s body decomposing in the one room apartment that they had shared. He could still remember the vermin that feasted off her dark and bloated skin. He knew what it was like to bury someone’s lifeless corpse in the murky mud that surrounded his “home.” Death was an infestation that manifested itself in the shadows that surrounded _ her _ grave and the graves of so many that he would eventually have to bury alone. 

He was intimately familiar with death lounging around crowded buildings and silent hallways. He had passed _ it _ as he informed countless mothers, wives, fathers, and children that their brave soldier wouldn’t be returning home. This was one of the main reasons why he never hesitated to protect others, even if it meant that he would put his own life on the line. He hated seeing what death did to people. It was selfish! It didn’t judge who _ it _ took- death dealt in ways that Levi wouldn’t ever be able to comprehend. But in all the years that he had fought alongside death, he would have never thought that this could be _ it _for him. 

Levi, Eren, Hanji and a small group of Survey Corps members had been tasked with tracking down the whereabouts of a specific Titan a few weeks ago. It had been sighted attacking one of the Walls at various spots. One day it was on the right side of the Wall, and then the next day it would be on the exact opposite side. Somehow it had been travelling from one side to another without being seen. When they had lost track of it for three whole days, they were sent out to seek its whereabouts and to destroy it at all costs. However, the team had not been prepared for its intelligence. Instead of them tracking it, _ it _had been following them the whole time. It wasn’t the only one waiting for them either. 

The team scrambled as they attempted to fight against the swarm of Titans that surrounded them. They were in the middle of a forest; no clear escape in sight. Their only choice was to fight them off as best as they could with their limited resources. Hanji and the rest of the team fought off three of the Titans, while Eren and Levi aimed their attention at the original Titan they had been tasked with destroying. 

To Levi’s trained eye, the Titan was absolutely revolting. Its reddened face sagged to one side, which exposed its vast amount of teeth. It’s ash-brown hair shifted as it moved its massive face. It's bulging brown eyes were fixated on the pair as it slashed at Eren’s massive Titan form. Its strength alone was something Levi had never seen before in battle. Each movement was purposeful and quick. This Titan was clearly more intelligent than they had originally thought. Levi wondered if it was somehow related to how Eren got his abilities. 

Was this monstrosity a human that could transform into a Titan? Or was it something else entirely? Levi was reluctant to believe that this creature could be anything like Eren. Eren was courageous and compulsive. This Titan, however, was cunning and dangerous. 

Although Eren was an adept fighter, this Titan was on a whole other level. Levi had only seen swift fighting like this with men in the military. Whoever or whatever could control this thing had to be powerful- they had to have had some major military background. Levi’s muscles tensed as he watched Eren attempt to fight off the other Titan. He barely blocked a blow to the head. How were they going to survive this? 

This mission had been meticulously planned out by Eren’s friend, Armin, and the Commander. Levi had witnessed how the pair had worked simultaneously together. It had been inspiring and a little bit unnerving for how quick they had worked together to create this mission. It had been perfect! There was no room for any unforeseen errors, and yet, here the team was losing. They had been completely blindsided! 

Levi could only blame himself for allowing the Titans to get the upper hand. The bitterness of spring had snuck up on them. Rain dropped from the dark grey sky and surrounded them. They had been forced to retreat to the forest nearby, hoping the weather would calm down and allow them to continue with their mission. However, the Titan had used this to its advantage.

Levi could not even begin to decipher what had even happened. He had been caught off guard. Blood coursed through Levi’s veins and he could taste it on his pale skin. He felt the warmth of blood as it dripped down his left ear. He could faintly hear ringing in his head and wondered if he had received that earlier. His feet were unsteady and he slightly swayed in place. It was sheer exhaustion that his body felt right now. He watched in horror as everyone struggled to fight off the attack. 

He needed to act now. He jumped forward with his blades ready to strike the Titan- and then it happened. 

A blast of air lashed out at him as Eren moved to dodge the impact of the other Titan. Levi didn’t stand a chance as he flew back and slammed into a branch of a nearby tree. He tried to regain composure but failed as his 3D maneuvering gear snapped on impact. His cloak became entangled around his body as he crashed through thick pine needles. Their sharp edges stabbed into his soaked clothing. The sweet, turpentine smell of the needles whisked along his face. He deftly threw his hands up as a tree branch came into view. 

He grasped the branch with trembling hands, the muscles visibly twitching underneath his exhausted body weight. His fingers loosened and his stomach churned as he glanced down. Something slammed against the tree and Levi felt himself thrown off the branch. His small frame hurtled towards the ground and Levi shut his gray eyes. He passed through multiple branches and landed at the base of the tree. Blood spread itself down his face and he blinked back stars. The landscape appeared to be slanted, or maybe that was just the damage to his body talking. Levi attempted to calculate what did and didn’t hurt, but everything seemed to ache at the moment. His vision was starting to blur, even as he tried to rub the blood away with his shaking hands. 

A loud crash happened nearby. Levi’s heart beat rapidly as pure panic set in. He couldn’t get up from his position, he couldn’t see, and he was most likely going to be killed by the Titan they had been fighting. He had been so careful all these years, and for what? Now he was going to die at the hands of the creatures he hated the most in this damned world.

Levi experienced so many emotions in this moment- fear, denial, agony, and loneliness. It wasn’t the impact that hurt the most. Nor was it the fact that he would now die here alone and defenseless. None of that mattered in comparison to the deep longing he felt for one more moment with Eren at his side. It was the knowledge that Eren wouldn’t be there to kiss away his tears, to hold him tight, and to comfort him in his last moment. He could feel it now as tears streamed down his blood-soaked face, and he couldn’t hold them back any longer. If only he could say “I love you” one more time or hear Eren’s sweet and reassuring laughter once more. 

“Eren, I’m so sorry…” 

. . .

Levi had never known what it was like to die. He had only seen what it did to other people. He could faintly hear the rustling of leaves as they swayed around him. He shuddered as a swift breeze swept across his already trembling body. He tried to look around himself, but his surroundings appeared to be cast in shadows. It felt as if he was moving, but this was not of his own accord. He struggled to move his arms and legs, but they felt weighted down- as if someone had wrapped ropes around his smaller frame, forcing him to stay on whatever it was that was currently moving. He could only assume that it could be a wagon of some sort or another. Its surface felt rough, it creaked, and it moved at a slow pace. Was this his ride to Hell? Or was he somehow on his way to Heaven? 

He sighed and was surprised to feel his heart beating softly against his chest. He was clearly able to breathe wherever he was, but he didn’t know if that was a good thing or not. Is this what people went through when they died? Were they forced to lay down and wait for their ultimate demise in silence? Or what if he was awake, and they were about to bury him alive? 

He craned his head forward and attempted to assess the situation further. An earthy and musty smell wafted through the air and left a damp aroma behind. The hair surrounding his ear felt damp and vaguely smelled of metallic. He could make out whispers surrounding the wagon he was in, but he couldn’t comprehend what they were saying. It was too distant to discern, and his head was pounding. 

Just as he was about to place his head back down, the wagon bounced over something on the ground. His head swung down and thudded against the hard surface. 

“Fuck,” he gritted out through clenched teeth. Moisture trickled down his face and marked his face with sweat. His head felt swollen- everything was spinning too fast and he could feel his stomach start to churn from the pressure. If he didn’t calm himself down, he knew he was going to throw up all over himself. He forced himself to breathe in and out slowly through his nose. 

“Thump!” He froze in place as he heard movement beside him. He felt his aching muscles stiffen as _ something _ leaned in and brushed its hand along his skin. Was this how he was going to die now? Was this _ thing _ going to chop him up and eat him alive? He didn’t even want to know the answer. Was this some sick joke? Or was it just a nightmare? 

He shuddered as a damp piece of cloth was placed on top of his forehead. Warmth cascaded over Levi’s body as the _ thing _ beside him placed a lumpy blanket on top of him. He could hear himself wheezing under the added weight. The heat continued to emanate around him as the hand stroked his flushed skin. 

The sharp, crisp smell of pine needles wafted off the blanket. It made Levi’s muscles clench as he remembered his unfortunate fall from the tree. He wondered if the impact had been fatal. He had seen death all his life, so maybe it was now his turn to die. 

He could still recall what it felt like to caress the rough wood of a shovel, as its metal edge punctured the dirt underneath. The uneven dents at the top of the shovel handle engraved into the wood from years of use, where numerous hands had used it to bury their comrades and friends. He knew what it was like to create a hole where a linen-covered body would be laid to rest. He could still recall the way the dirt would thud sickeningly against the wooden exterior of a box. 

He would always know that an average grave needed to be at least two feet wide and eight feet long. He would never forget that it needed to be at least six feet deep if you wished to include a wooden casket. He could still recall the lingering sensation of hammering metal nails into the box’s front-opening. The tingling sensation had never left his fingertips. The feeling especially never left when he was forced to bury his own squad, when they had suffered fatal blows from nearby trees and Titans. 

It only made sense that he would be another body to bury. That he would be like the rest of _ them _\- that he, too, would suffer as they did long ago. Death had always been present. He knew that it waited, hungering for any mistake on Levi’s part. It was meant to be. 

A tangy aroma surrounded Levi, causing his long lashes to blink back dried tears. He needed to focus on his present predicament. He couldn’t afford to look back at his past mistakes, but he kept reminiscing about what could have been. All he wanted to do was relive the memories that had tortured him for so long. He wanted to feel that horrid pain once more. He had only wanted to save his friends, but he had failed to do so. He had never been “humanity's strongest.” 

And yet, the strong citrus smell around him kept him here… in the horrible presence of his death. The smell was pleasant, and it reminded Levi of _ that _ day- the one where he had let a tasteless joke slip. 

He could still recall how Eren’s entire body convulsed as he erupted in laughter. The blissful sound bubbled up from his strong chest, and Levi couldn’t hold back any longer. He lost control. His guard shut down and he felt the muscles around his lips twitch into a crooked smile. Eren smelled of pine and citrus, as if the world always wanted him to smell of the forests that surround them. The smell always lingered around Levi as if it had attached itself to his skin and clothes. His heart beat so fast that day. It was utter joy and excitement that he felt when Eren was near. 

He missed the way Eren always made him calm down. He missed the way Eren’s larger frame was always animated and ready to go for anything. He missed Eren’s bold temper and his broad shoulders. He missed the way Eren smiled, because his emerald eyes were always lively and warm. Eren made Levi feel alive. He made him feel whole, as if he had never needed to feel alone. He made Levi feel ecstatic and brave. He made Levi want to be a better man… one that the world could actually rely on. 

Levi gasped for air as the wagon traveled over numerous bumps in the road. His throat burned from the dust that clung to his clothes. He shivered as the warm, tangy aroma revealed the underlying metallic smell that clung to his nostrils and skin. His muscles spasmed as his captor brushed their long fingers through Levi’s sweat-soaked hair. The fingers carefully moved through tangles and meticulously removed any dirt from his scalp. 

He felt his heartbeat relax from the calming effects his captor had over him. His breathing slowed and his heavy eyelids drooped closed. He hadn’t realized how utterly exhausted he was at the moment. It wasn’t just the sheer agony he felt all over his body, but the lack of sleep he had received on their journey to eliminate _ that _Titan. His thoughts felt sluggish and his body felt heavy from today’s events. 

A breathy tune drifted between them as the effects of Levi’s damaged body took over. With a weary sigh, he allowed his ears to capture the sound emanating around him. If he was dead, then surely it would be alright if he fell asleep right now? The heat surrounding him was a pleasant feeling. He surprisingly felt unperturbed by whoever or whatever it was that was taking care of him. The soft humming sound from his captor called to him in a way that he did not understand, but he could no longer care what happened. 

He shut his eyes and drifted off to blissful darkness…


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi is back on the battlefield. He is confused, torn and devastated. Can he keep his promise to Eren? Can he finally let go of his fears? Levi meets death first-hand, but will he get the chance to tell Eren how much he loves him?

Levi’s dull gray eyes narrowed as he searched the carnage for Eren’s immense body. Would it be gnarled and bludgeoned by the other Titans by now? Would Levi even be able to comprehend the remains of Eren’s Titan self, or would it be unrecognizable at this point? 

They had just dispatched several of their ranks on a full-fledged attack against the few Titans that remained in their world. The few human colonies that survived this damned war waited anxiously behind their _ precious _Walls. Would their loved ones return unscathed, or would there be more bodies to bury? When would this constant battle of love and loss end? 

Levi had never known the answer to those questions. Death had always surrounded him, so why would it change now? Was Eren among those that remained? He left his current position and scanned his surroundings further. He had lost sight of Eren hours ago and wasn’t sure how the younger man fared. 

A blast of air rushed around him as he made his way quickly through the surrounding bodies. Blood seeped into a large gash in the ground. The dark red color looked as if it had been splashed across the crumpled debris of the concrete nearby. He passed two people as they treated someone on the ground; their legs crushed underneath the arm of a slain Titan. The person gave out a blood curdling scream as the two people cut away the Titan’s flesh. Levi’s ears rang as he rushed passed them. 

No matter where he looked, all Levi could see was blood, guts and gore. Eren’s body was nowhere in sight; a fact that left Levi’s mind to wander with morbid thoughts. His heart sank as he started to lose hope of ever finding Eren again- and that’s when he saw _ him _. His vision blurred as he neared what remained of Eren’s Titan form. It lay awkwardly draped against a massive wall. Levi felt his instincts kick in as he ran up the massive body. He stopped at the neck and his breathing slowed.

Sweat drifted down his forehead and ended its journey at the base of his neck. Levi blinked as he closely examined the back of the Titan’s neck. He slowly unsheathed his steel blades and shakily held them up. Their supple and strong nature had always calmed him in the past, especially when his plans became unraveled by those damned Titans. 

The veins at the base of Eren’s Titan form were enlarged and a dark color. A sign that Levi knew all too well. Eren had yet to escape the body that _ controlled _ him. Levi swung his faithful blades and clenched his mouth shut as he slashed his way down. 

His blades tore through the thick skin that encompassed Eren’s human body. Levi could see his bloodied face buried beneath the sinewy veins that connected him to this monstrous form. Eren’s thick brows furrowed as the outside air rushed into the crevice that divided them. His nose was bent at an odd angle and the skin under his eyes rippled in crooked lines down his slender cheekbones. 

Levi slashed once more through Eren’s Titan form. He gagged as blood gushed through the lacerated wound and coated his disheveled clothes and skin with dark ichor. The sticky substance dribbled down his face and onto his busted lips. The warm liquid tasted metallic and stained his clothes an inky hue. He felt the muscles in his throat contract as he dry heaved- only to find himself retching all over his body and Eren’s. 

He deliberately averted his gaze from Eren’s vacant eyes as the nausea consumed him for several minutes. His shoulders sagged from the convulsions and he gasped for air. Moisture clung to his gray eyes as he tried to regain his composure. 

What would Eren think if he saw him now? Would he laugh that brilliant laugh and bring life to this deadly battlefield? Or would Eren see Levi as the feeble and small man that he tried so hard to conceal?

He glanced back at Eren and threw himself into reviving Eren’s incapacitated self. Levi had always doubted himself. He had been uncertain about Eren from the beginning and had hesitated when they started their relationship. He had been skeptical and had fought Eren countless times- times that had _ almost _ torn them apart. 

Levi’s thoughts raced forward as he struggled to break Eren away. The man had never done anything to provoke Levi’s insecurities. Eren _ saw _him. Eren pierced through Levi’s tough exterior and saw the truth. He had always been patient, understanding and irritably optimistic. Yet Levi still struggled to find security in their relationship, constantly worrying that the younger man would see him as the weak and pathetic man Levi truly was inside. 

He felt as if they weren’t ever going to truly be together. 

It was the past. 

It was the constant call to battle. 

It was always his fault. 

How could he expect to keep others safe, when he could barely keep pace with these younger soldiers? He was getting older and his past constantly snuck up on him, reminding him that he would never be able to be completely intimate with Eren. That he could never share his whole heart with this man… it tore Levi apart knowing he could never protect Eren in this life. 

Death had always been a part of Levi’s life. He had seen so many lives lost from battle, and in the putrid sewers he had once called home. Every time he had had to bury someone- it had left a gnarly scar etched into his very soul. Every breath he took felt like a sin. Every time he smiled or enjoyed himself, he would find himself burying another comrade and friend. 

And yet Eren made him want to not be apprehensive. He soothed his soul in a way that he could never comprehend. Eren was like the sun to Levi. His every move encased him into a false sense that everything would be ok as long as he could see Eren again. 

“Levi,” a small voice called below. 

Levi forced himself to glance down at Eren, who’s tender smile grip at Levi’s heartstrings. His smile had always radiated throughout him in the past, but now it caused Levi nothing but grief. This same smile a day ago had caused him to feel free from his sorrows… that is, until another body turned up at his booted feet. 

And now another body had turned up… and it was Death knocking at his door, about to barge in and take away everything Levi had left in this horrible world. _ It _ was here to steal away his sunshine. _ It _ was here to seize his heart. _ It _ was here to be a new home for his constant weeping heart. _ It _ had come again… to take Eren away. 

A raspy cough caused Levi’s gray eyes to glance back down. Eren’s beautiful emerald eyes were foggy as they attempted to focus on Levi’s pale face. Levi knew this look, had known those same eyes like the steel of his blades. He knew them so well, that he gasped as he tried to regain his composure. 

He couldn’t fix Eren.

He couldn’t repair the damage of battle, that had torn them apart from the very beginning. 

He could- no, he refused to bring Eren further into despair. They had made a promise to each other long ago. Levi had promised to end Eren’s life, should death be inevitable, and they had no other choice. 

Eren’s dull eyes, raspy breathing and pale complexion blinked up at Levi. There was no way to save him. The damage had been done. 

“Eren, I-” he clenched his jaw and breathed through his teeth. Tears dribbled down his face as he tried to remain calm, but how could he remain calm? How was he supposed to be stoic when he was about to lose his _ everything _? 

“Eren,” he tried again, “I can’t, um, I can’t save…” 

“Shhh,” Eren whispered between breaths. Blood continued to gush from his open wounds, and it dripped from his lips. “It’s going to be okay, Levi.” 

“Eren, please forgive me.” Levi smiled down at Eren and pressed his lips to Eren’s soft ones. They were cold to the touch. It was up to him now. He needed to keep his promise… the one that he had made forever ago. The one that Eren always insisted he keep- no matter the cost to Levi’s already damned soul. 

“I love you,” he whispered as he threw his sword blade into Eren’s chest. Eren choked as the blade made its way into his heart, causing his body to spasm uncontrollably. Levi grabbed his hands and forced them between their bodies. His tears drifted down and trickled along the angles of Eren’s blood-stained face. 

His body was still… and a soft smile brightened his bloody face. 

Levi clutched at the front of Eren’s shirt and finally allowed himself to really fall apart. He was useless! His shoulders sagged and his posture loosened itself as he pressed himself closer to Eren’s motionless body. Eren’s jaw was slightly parted and his emerald eyes were vacant of their usual liveliness. He gasped as ugly crying noises escaped his trembling lips. 

Levi shuddered as he glanced at his reflection in his steel blade. His pale face was blotchy from all the trauma of the day. His bloodshot eyes were swollen from the tears that stained his bloody cheeks. Eren would have insisted that he smile- smile because even though he was covered in filth, he was still the most handsome man to him. 

Levi glanced upwards and screamed a blood-curdling scream. His throat was raw, and it became hard to breathe, but he continued to scream until there was nothing but air escaping his scorched lungs. Tears continued to escape his dull gray eyes as his head began to pound. The world around him becoming too unbearable. Levi slumped down and pressed his face into the crook of Eren’s neck. His vision blurring as the seamless clouds continued to roll by. 

With one last shaky breath, Levi pressed the blade from Eren’s chest into his own. He finally drifted off to sleep, and Eren’s breathless smile welcomed him home.

. . .

The soft cawing of birds nearby awoke Levi from his nightmare-induced dreams. His body ached from the lack of restful sleep and pure exhaustion. He could have been asleep for years and he would still find himself exhausted and in pain. The muscles in his arms twitched as he tried to sit up from his current position. 

He brushed his hands through his hair… only to find them come away clean and smelling faintly of lavender. His eyes felt weighed down and he rubbed at them absentmindedly as he attempted to take stock of the rest of his surroundings.

He was in a decent sized room, the walls made from logs and the floor covered with a light green rug. A small, lopsided table was next to the bed that Levi resided in. A pitcher of water and lemon slices rested on top, with a small glass cup next to it. Condensation clung to the pitcher and dripped down slowly. 

The cawing continued to drift into the room and Levi once more glanced around himself. There wasn’t a lot of furniture in this room, but everything so far seemed clean and in its rightful place. There was a wardrobe directly in the opposite corner of the room, with its contents hidden safely away inside its closed wooden doors. A small fireplace was on the other side of the room, the remnants of burning wood in the form of coal inside. Across from that was an open window and a wooden desk underneath. It was missing a chair. 

Bright rays of sunlight wafted through the open window, causing Levi to avert his gaze. His head was throbbing, and he suddenly felt parched, as if he had not drank anything for months. He shifted his weight and flinched as he attempted to move towards the bedside table. The soft white, linen sheets around his waist moved, revealing his bandaged torso and legs. He placed one hand over his mouth in an attempt to muffle a cry of pure agony. 

His thin, pale lips were cracked in multiple places and a bandage was wound around his head and cheek. He breathed in and out slowly through his nose as he attempted to regain his composure. Everything hurt and Levi had no idea what was happening. 

Was he dead? This room felt so familiar, but Levi felt as if he had never been in this room before. If he truly was alive, where the hell was he? All he could remember was Eren in the midst of battle, his Titan form swaying back and forth as he fought off that strange ash-brown haired Titan. 

_ It _ had been so intelligent, tricking the team at the last moment and defeating them one-by-one with its shear strength and numbers. Even now Levi could recall its vast amount of teeth and its gross bulging eyes as _ it _ watched them fight. He could still feel the thick tree needles slashing at his skin as he flew at an alarming rate through the tree’s branches. He could hear the crash and whooshing sound of the wind as he fell and fell and fell again. 

His heart was beating erratically in his chest and Levi flinched as a dark shape flew through the open window. Its dark, ebony wings flushed out as it swept through the room… only to land on Levi’s bandaged leg. 

It was a raven. Its beak open and closed softly as it swiveled its head back and forth. Levi watched its dark black eyes carefully. It was watching him. 

Waiting. 

Looking. 

Plotting. 

Levi breathed out slowly as it cawed to him softly. He felt heavy, his throbbing head the only factor that told him he wasn’t dead. That this creature was here for a reason. It was a messenger of death.

Was this creature here to take him to Hell, or was it here to tell him that his time was close? He was reluctant to let go. What if Eren was still alive? What if he was happy and breathing and right outside that room? He couldn’t leave without saying goodbye. 

He needed to utter “I love you” one last time. He needed Eren to know that he regretted never letting him in. For never letting go and being his true self with Eren. For never hugging him enough or kissing his wounds after a difficult battle. Who would take over for Levi if he were to give into the raven’s call? 

He needed to be fearless. He needed to tell Eren how much the younger man meant to him. He needed to let him know that he couldn’t live without him by his side. Levi’s steel gray eyes narrowed as he glared at the bird, challenging it to take his life away. Daring it to give up, when he finally knew his purpose in life. 

If this creature could leave and let him be a better man, than Levi would dedicate the rest of his life to loving to Eren. His sturdy walls would come crumbling down. He would never ever let himself allow Eren to die at his hands. He would never let Eren live a day without a smile, or a hand to hold, or a shoulder to cry on. Levi would be there… really be there and not put his guard up. He would finally allow Eren to know him- the real him, the one that was afraid of commitment. The one that was afraid to say those three simple words out loud. The one who was afraid of losing. 

The bird stared back into Levi’s eyes and nodded slowly. It was odd and startling to see a bird do something so human. The hair on Levi’s arms rose as the bird nodded once more, before finally jumping into the air. It flew up, out the open window and the world outside became eerily quiet. 

His stiff posture relaxed as he leaned into the pillow behind him. The open shirt he wore clung to his skin with sweat. He glanced back at the window and noticed the curtains for the first time. The white linen swayed gently with the cooling breeze entering the room. Dust particles drifted and floated in the crisp morning air, as if they were dancing with one another. It was oddly relaxing to watch as the specks of dust moved from one spot to another. 

Levi winced as he closed his eyes, allowing his other senses to take over. Amongst the smell of lavender from his hair, he could also smell a strange mixture of pine and orange. It clung to the air, and Levi breathed it in and out of his partially clogged nose. How long had he been here? Was he dead? Or was he actually alive? Was the raven even real, or was he slowly losing his mind? 

He gently opened his eyes and looked down. His vision blurred slightly, but the evidence of battle clung to his smaller frame harshly. He shuddered as his gaze took in the massive bandages that clung to his wounded chest. His toned muscles were covered with black and blue bruises, and his head pounded from the pressure encompassing his throbbing skull. 

Death had always been a part of Levi’s life. It was a harsh fact that had taunted and haunted him all these years… and yet, Levi felt himself smile for the first time in weeks. He loved Eren! He could finally admit it to himself. The fact that he could see that now was all that mattered. The possibility of death shouldn’t prevent him from being happy and in love. He could finally be open with Eren and allow himself to be free. 

All he wanted was to hold the younger man again. To tell him that everything was going to be okay. It wouldn’t matter what happened today or the next day, because he and Eren would live each one as if it were their last. He would treasure their bond, as if it were their last day together. 

Death was no longer a punishment held over his head. 

He would enjoy each moment renewed! All he needed to do now was find Eren and reveal everything that Levi had discovered. He needed Eren to know the truth. 

“Eren, I love you!” He exclaimed without hesitation. 

“Levi,” a deep voice intoned, sounding groggily and dazed. Levi’s long lashes blinked back tears as he glanced to his side and noticed that Eren had been sitting next to him this entire time. His long, brown hair was in a tangled mess as the younger man stretched his arms above his head. Meanwhile he yawned loudly all the while, before shyly covering his mouth at the last second. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled out awkwardly and all Levi could do was stare at the brunette. 

“I’m so glad you are ok,” Eren rambled on before Levi could interject. “I was so worried! It was all my fault that that Titan had hurt you. If only I had been more careful- I, I didn’t even know that he had smacked me into _ your _ tree until it was too late. I’m so- so sorry, Levi… you’ve been out for three days, and it’s all my fault. Please don’t hate me!” 

Eren’s flushed face shook as tears ran down his face. Levi reached his hand out and grasped Eren’s trembling ones in his own. He had only been out for three days and Eren had thought- no, he had blamed himself for Levi’s accident. He could have died and Eren would have lived with that trauma for the rest of his life. 

Eren sheepishly glanced at their intertwined hands. All he wanted to do was kiss him, to press their bodies together, so that he could hear Eren’s beating heart against his own. He could never let this happen to Eren again. Levi would never forgive himself if Eren ever believed that he could even kill Levi in the midst of battle. Eren was his everything, his whole world and here he was… blaming himself for something that was totally out of their control at the time. 

“Eren,” he whispered. “It was not your fault.”

“But Levi, I-” 

“No, it wasn’t, and don’t you dare blame yourself.” Levi used his other hand to brush the tears away from Eren’s face. He used his other hand to press themselves closer together. He pulled at Eren, who moved from his chair and carefully lowered himself on the bed. 

“Come here,” Levi said, moving Eren into the warmth and protection of his arms. His body hurt from the contact, but he’d rather suffer than ever let this man out of his reach again. Levi wasn’t going to miss another moment without Eren by his side.

“I love you, Eren.”

“I love you too, Levi.” Eren said as he leaned up and kissed him. Levi would never ever forget this moment. He would never let Eren forget this moment either. This day would be one of many, and Levi could not wait to spend the rest of his life with Eren by his side. 

Death had always been a part of Levi’s life, but _ it _ could wait another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an FYI: When Levi refers to Eren as "the younger man," it is not because Eren is underage. Eren is older than he is in the manga/anime. Whenever I write about their relationship, Levi and Eren are of legal dating ages.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, leaving kudos and/or commenting! This fan-fiction took me a while to write and is dedicated to my late grandmother.


End file.
